Sober Girl Got Game? … No.

I haven’t had a single sip of booze in 6 months. At the risk of sounding totally cliche- quitting drinking has improved everything in my life. Seriously, everything has for real gotten better. Mainly because, I have gotten better. I understand how … Continue reading

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She’s Fakin’ it, Bruh (And Other Things I’ve Learned from Porn)

I watch porn. Most that know me are aware of this, because I’m pretty cavalier about it. Honestly, I see nothing to be ashamed of.  You, fellow surfer of the interwebs, might watch porn too. Or maybe you don’t. That’s … Continue reading

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Talking, Shitting, Facebooking, Introducing (and other Woes)

I recently became single again a little while back and it occurred to me that because of my decision, I’m forced to undertake the daunting task of starting all over from scratch with some unsuspecting dude. Square one. Aside from … Continue reading

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Fraternizing with the Tourist Boy (And How You Can Too!)

Are you 35 and still checking single on your taxes? Do you walk into your local bar, look around, and think meh, I’ve already made-out with every single dude in here? Maybe you’re just really, really bored…? Well, if you’re a server, I … Continue reading

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Exes and Ohs

Over my years of being a girlfriend to men, I’ve realized that eventually with every single one you will undoubtedly have a talk about your ex-whatevers. This is a normal development in the course of a relationship and should neither … Continue reading

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My Fictional Boyfriends (or Why all Real Boys are Doomed)

I’ve always wanted a boyfriend- even at a really young age. I wasn’t one of those young lasses that daydreamed about a wonderful wedding and having babies and picket fences. As far as young girls go, I was pretty level-headed- … Continue reading

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Top 5 things I Want to Say about the VMA’s

As is the case every year, I didn’t watch the MTV Video Music Awards- partially because I’m a self-righteous warrior riding a high horse of anti-everything mainstream, but also because I can’t afford cable.  No, instead, this year in grand … Continue reading

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Passion Aggressive (Chapter 2, April 2013)

(I wrote a book once. It was the worst book ever written. Regardless, I wrote the book anyway. Titled Passion Aggressive, it’s essentially my life, but broken down into chapters. The only thing the book doesn’t have is an actual point. Or an … Continue reading

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Chasin’ that Zack Morris High (and Other Vagina Victories) 7: Foster and Brian

(Chasin’ that Zack Morris High is a recurring series that details my experiences dating and having one-night stands with (mostly younger) dudes. Teeter tottering between equal parts genius and whore, either way totally not giving a fuck- these blogs are an … Continue reading

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Passion Aggressive (Chapter 1, April 2013)

(I wrote a book once. It was the worst book ever written. Regardless, I wrote the book anyway. Titled Passion Aggressive, it’s essentially my life, but broken down into chapters. The only thing the book doesn’t have is an actual point. Or an … Continue reading

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Chasin’ that Zack Morris High (and Other Vagina Victories) 6: RU-FI-O

(Chasin’ that Zack Morris High is a recurring series that details my experiences dating and having one-night stands with (mostly younger) dudes. Teeter tottering between equal parts genius and whore, either way totally not giving a fuck- these blogs are an … Continue reading

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SUPER HOT BABE ALERT!

Hi! And welcome to the Super Hot Babe Club where we share with you a bunch of super hot babes and you jerk off while your wife is at her once-a-week Zumba class and your kids are watching Frozen for the … Continue reading

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Chasin’ that Zack Morris High (and Other Vagina Victories) 5: Some Kid Checking IDs at a Bar

(Chasin’ that Zack Morris High is a recurring series that details my experiences dating and having one-night stands with (mostly younger) dudes. Teeter tottering between equal parts genius and whore, either way totally not giving a fuck- these blogs are an … Continue reading

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Happy (I’m Still Not a) Mother’s Day!

Age: 30 Marriages: 0 Divorces: 0 BABIES: 0 Babies’ Daddies: NA Good news internet! This year’s 4th annual Happy (I’m Still Not a) Mother’s Day pregnancy test was positively negative! My uterus of steel has been successful for another year- … Continue reading

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Chasin’ that Zack Morris High (and Other Vagina Victories): River

(Chasin’ that Zack Morris High is a recurring series that details my experiences dating and having one-night stands with (mostly younger) dudes. Teeter tottering between equal parts genius and whore, either way totally not giving a fuck- these blogs are an … Continue reading

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Chasin’ that Zack Morris High (and Other Vagina Victories): Ted Barbell

(Chasin’ that Zack Morris High is a recurring series that details my experiences dating and having one-night stands with (mostly younger) dudes. Teeter tottering between equal parts genius and whore, either way totally not giving a fuck- these blogs are an … Continue reading

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Chasin’ That Zack Morris High (and Other Vagina Victories): Benson

(Chasin’ that Zack Morris High is a recurring series that details my experiences dating and having one-night stands with (mostly younger) dudes. Teeter tottering between equal parts genius and whore, either way totally not giving a fuck- these blogs are an … Continue reading

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My subconscious thinks his name is Ben.

[Updated over a year into my relationship with "Ben" on 10/25/14:  I indeed accepted this guy's offer to hang out again, mainly because I can't turn away a mystery: What was his name? What did he look like? Where did … Continue reading

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Stay Away From My Uterus

On the cusp of my 30th lap around the sun, I’m at the age where everyone I know is getting married and having kids. Whether 5 years younger, my age, or 5 years older -it doesn’t matter- this is what people are … Continue reading

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