Monthly Archives: April 2011

Bitching about Bitching about Bitching

I got in my first Facebook “fight” today. It’s true. Well, kind of. Once I realized that I was becoming engaged in a full throttle ambush from a couple of chicks five years older than me (or so), I disengaged. … Continue reading

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You Suck Without

Due to the infiltration upon my brain that advertisements have made in the past years of my life, I am now convinced of the following: My whole wardrobe sucks, the cleaning products I use are far too much work and … Continue reading

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‘Breaking News’: Obama has a Birth Certificate! (Duh.)

  This morning as I was drinking my fourth cup of coffee and perusing the internet for what our country mistakes for news, I realized that all of the major news broadcasting programs concluded the same thing: the release of … Continue reading

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Maybe You Touched Your Genitals?

… Or maybe you didn’t. The fact of the matter is, you never really know upon seeing someone what exactly they were doing wherever they may have been. Well, leave it to some company to avoid beating around the bush … Continue reading

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“And put a knife to thy throat, if thou be a man given to appetite” Proverbs 23:2

… So writes King Solomon (subjectively, some scholars argue that he did not in fact write it) in the book of Proverbs (23:2). I’m no biblical scholar, but this implies to me that if you overeat… slice your throat. However, … Continue reading

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Display Your Useless Leftover Items!

It turns out there is something to do with all that junk that your ex leaves at your apartment after your split… make it into an exhibit at a museum. Duh. The Museum of Broken Relationships (it’s cool, check it … Continue reading

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Status Update: I’m not smart.

  Why is it that we have a rash of “criminals” who are getting caught because they update their status about their illegal activity? Am I the only one who sees this or doesn’t it seem pretty stupid to brag … Continue reading

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We’ve Been Trumped.

Donald Trump for president? Are we serious, America? Or the better question is, is he serious, America? He has made claims to be considering running before. Although according to a CNN report, in 200o he was only “seriously considering” and … Continue reading


My New York State of Mind.

Last Wednesday I had the privilege of taking a day trip to New York City with a good friend of mine. (Our actual purpose there was to see a live taping of The Colbert Report, but that is a delicious … Continue reading

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Oh, thank the good lord! A fifth Fast and Furious! I sure can’t get enough of movies about hot broads, flashy, neon (ugly) Honda Civics involved in extreme street races, terrible soundtracks, off the chart Nitrous boosts, and bad acting. … Continue reading


My Friday Night. (Envy me.)

It’s Friday night. While most of my peers are deciding what to wear, which bar to crawl to, and who they could potentially make out with, I am at home surrounded by books and academic scholarly journal articles, writing a … Continue reading