Display Your Useless Leftover Items!

It turns out there is something to do with all that junk that your ex leaves at your apartment after your split… make it into an exhibit at a museum. Duh.

The Museum of Broken Relationships (it’s cool, check it out…) is a museum dedicated to exactly what you would think: the leftover remnants of your past loves. You donate that ridiculous teddy bear Mr. Wrong gave you for Valentines day or the ugly tie Ms. Never Again gave you and insisted you wear to every formal function, and then this museum puts it on display with a brief explanation and voila! Your past relationship is showcased in all of it’s regretful glory. (Brilliant, I say. Just brilliant!)

Typically, I always thought the best course of action to get rid of all those inanimate memories was to schedule a bonfire and burn it all. Or regift. I regift a lot. For some reason, men always buy me earrings… even though my ears are not pierced. Huh.

Regardless, after being introduced to this ingenious idea of showing off the past, I am now planning on shipping anything leftover from my previous (douche) boyfriends to this place with a retelling of how much they sucked. (Unless it’s really cool… like my iTouch that I managed to finagle through clever persuasion.)

Just in case you are wondering, here is a list of the things that I still have from past relationships and I’m not sure why:

- 5 year sobriety coin from AA

- a terribly ugly t-shirt of pirates

- a coffee mug decorated with flowers

- a slew of letters (before the elusive text, of course) proclaiming how hot I am

- a coffee mug that readsĀ Grateful I’m not Dead

- the movie “Without a Paddle”

- a pair of boxer briefs

- oh, and a fake engagement ring (Yes, fake.)

(All of the previously listed items are for sale if you’d like to purchase them. For real. Well… except for the coffee mug. I really like it.)

And hey, sometimes the stuff left from past relationships can really be to your advantage. My current boyfriend used to date a chick that went to school to become a hairdresser, so when I moved in, for the first six months living here, my hair was always washed with high quality, way over priced products that she had left behind.

Not only did I snag the guy (remember, in relationships it’s never good to be first… always strive to be last) but my hair was also silky and smooth. Win.

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One Response to Display Your Useless Leftover Items!

  1. Louis says:

    Hi, I read your new stuff regularly. Your writing style is witty, keep doing what you’re doing!

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