Actual Weight Loss Not Included

Just when you thought losing weight couldn’t get any sexier…

Well, well. Just when I assumed I would be stuck with this extra 10 pounds forever… a good friend of mine sends me the link to this gem: underwear filled with magical, healing magnets that are “believed to” boost my metabolism, act as a form of pain reliever, and jump start my circulation. On top of that, it will instantly take off 10-15 pounds! Hark! It is a miracle!

Now if you’re not sold by that ultra sexified cat suit, have no fear, because it is invisible under clothing. (Total score.) And folks, anything that can claim invisibility powers is fine by me.


… it then gets accessorized.

And it doesn’t stop there! Oh no, you can accessorize this late night delight too! Yep, just buy the magnetic slimming toe rings to go with it and bam, you’re magnetically shedding those extra cup cakes from head to toe. (Cupcakes not included… but they should be.)

Now folks, I’ve always been a skeptic of anything that claims it can instantly shed off pounds. I have a couple girlfriends who drink those weight loss powder drinks and take those over the counter diet pills and um, none of them have lost weight from it (duh). I remember also when Alli first came out how excited everyone was, because it was FDA approved or some shit like that. It was a huge deal. The news even covered it. All good things must come to an end though because, I then remember everyone started shitting their pants from taking it. (The news also covered that.)

However, the most magical, miraculous thing about these magnetic garments you ask?

Someone has actually purchased them.

More than that, someone has actually purchased them thinking that they were actually going to drop 15 pounds just like that: by the power of magnets and nude-colored granny slim wear.

Granted, if ever there was a gimmick in weight loss… this one tops it for me. Seriously. If invisible, magnetic slimming panties can’t help me slim down, then really folks, I don’t know what the hell can.

(Oh, yeah. That whole diet and exercise thing…)

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One Response to Actual Weight Loss Not Included

  1. Christine says:

    Please. Create magic. Order this.

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