The Next Step: The Shared Family Mobile Plan

 

Yesterday, as I was immersed in a book (Little Bee by Chris Cleave, not that great), the phone began to ring and the caller ID started announcing my boyfriend’s name proudly though incorrectly. (The lady on my voice caller ID has a foreign accent.) I was not alarmed as he typically calls me from work at some point just to check in and we can discuss our personal current events. The conversation played out something like this…

Me: Hey, what’s up?

Him: Hey. I was just thinking about something.

Me: Oh yeah? Tell me more.

Him: I want to take the next step.

Me: Wait, what?

Him: I was thinking I want to take the next step.

(At this point I stop dead in my tracks. What played out in my mind went like this: What the fuck is he talking about? The next step? The next step in what? Is he talking about his truck again? He’s always talking about his truck. Maybe he wants to get a new one finally. I’m hungry. Wait, in our relationship? He couldn’t be… ? There is no way in hell he would propose to me over the phone. I’ll kill him. I swear I will. Right after I say no to his proposal, I will drive to his job and slice the phone right out of his hand with a katana! He just bought a wood splitter! We can’t even afford the ring I want! Shit. That sucks. I’ve never owned a real diamond. I want a real diamond. Man, I sure wish we had a pinball machine here…)

Me: The next step in what, babe?

Him: Well, my cell phone plan is about to expire next month and I was wondering if it would be better if we went onto one plan and shared our minutes.

And then I thought to myself, oh, how logical.

(The rest of the conversation was your typical boyfriend/girlfriend stuff: how is your day so far, what have you accomplished so far, proclaim love for each other once again, and hang up. Not interesting, I assure you.)

 

You know it’s serious, when he suggests you share minutes.

Now aside from the fact, I know he set up that conversation strategically to get me going (he would later confirm this by saying so), I got kind of excited. I’ve never shared my cell phone minutes with anyone. The closest I ever got was about 3 years ago when my boyfriend (if you can call him that) at the time asked if I would get him a cell phone on my plan. I laughed in his face. More or less I told him I will share a 12 pack with you, but I will not share my minutes. (Although, I guess I kind of did share my minutes with him as he had no job and no cell phone which meant he always used my phone anyway. Trickery!) Needless to say, I knew it was only a matter of time before I dumped him and I sure as hell wasn’t going to give him something that I would inevitably be paying for on a month-to-month basis.

However, this relationship is different (by that I mean that it is actually good) and therefore this would be the logical next step, I guess.

And hey, for me this step is almost as good as an engagement ring; it pretty much signified that he plans on being with me for at least the duration of a 2 year contract plan with AT&T. Sweet.

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