Anyone with connection to the internet or any other form of communication by now knows that the world was supposed to end on Saturday May 21st, 2011, according to Harold Camping, a California preacher. Anyone who has access to a calendar and can see today’s date by now knows that the world did not in fact, end.
We’re all still alive (sinning).
Of course, Camping who has already predicted the end of the world once before in 1994, is apparently “flabbergasted” that the world did not end and now, his followers who quit their jobs and maxed out their credit cards have been quoted as saying that “rapture would have been a relief.” Yes, I would imagine, since now your wife is not only nagging you about the toilet seat but also about that “one time” she and the whole family followed you blindly on some religious charade that ended surrounded by credit card debt with no job to chip away at it. (“Ugh, first it was the casinos! Then it was the strip clubs! Now, Jesus and the rapture? At least in the casinos you can win something in return… other than someone’s imaginary judgement! God damn you, Husband!”)
I raise the question, however… what if it did happen and Harold Camping just wasn’t invited? According to Camping, only 2-3% of the whole world would suddenly disappear, (poof) into some wonderful heaven so I think it’s fair to say that we probably wouldn’t even notice that they were missing. Well, at least I wouldn’t because I have a feeling I do not know a single person who would be chosen… even of my “devout” Christian friends and family. I think the most logical conclusion Camping can come to is that he was unworthy of the rapture and is probably going to burn in hell. (When I see him there, I will tell him to his face I think he’s kind of a nut case.)
Of course, that didn’t stop Harold, the prophet of doom. Nope, now apparently Judgement Day has been rescheduled for October 21, 2011. (Camping is no math genius, I presume.) However, he has since decided to stop advertising the end of the world much in the same manner one might advertise tampons… on billboards.
It is because of this I applaud this dear old man, because he has serious persistence. Just like the little engine that could, he thinks he can (he thinks he can) and if at first he doesn’t succeed and at second…um, he doesn’t succeed, Camping just tries, tries again.
I have faith that once October 21st comes and goes without a hitch, Camping will once again make a prediction, but until then I will be sitting and waiting to mock him, in rapture, might I add.