Shitty Detectives

I have a dog. I love my dog. She of course, has one major flaw; she shits.

This isn’t a huge issue for me however, because I live in a rural area, and have plenty of places to discard of her excrement. In fact, I don’t even have to discard of it… I could leave it all over my yard if I didn’t mind occasionally stepping in it.

This is not the case for city dwellers or people that live in large apartment complexes though. Nope, that dog shit stinks and the stink it stirs up is anything but pleasant.

Different apartment complexes in metro areas have been requesting a certain company’s help to gumshoe their way to the bottom of these nasty little perpetrators (aka your family dog). Poo Prints is a company dedicated to figuring out which dog (or in reality, pet owner) is doing number 2 and not cleaning it up by using sophisticated CSI methods in the form of DNA testing. What Poo Prints does is take a cheek swab of all the little canines in the building and set up a database with their DNA. When you stumble upon some shit that is not in the proper place (wherever that may be), you collect a marble-sized amount of poop, put it in a canister, shake well, send it in the shit detectives, and then they email you the culprit. Case rested.

The location of the most recent poop gumshoes is in New Hampshire in an apartment complex run by one Debbie Violette. She, according to CNN, (read about crap in crappy news), says that 98% of the folks who reside there clean up their messes but there are still some rebellious pooches (2%) that are shitting where they sleep and leaving the mess for unsuspecting bystanders to step in. Apparently, Debbie acknowledges the fact that this a could be a costly option, but alas, with so many dogs on her property (including St. Bernards that lay massive piles of shit), what’s a girl to do?

Duh. Hire investigators.

Let’s give it up for the people at Poo Prints and apartment complex managers, like Debbie Violette: Solving mysteries one pile of shit at a time.


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