Oh. Irreconcilable differences.
Ah, yes. Just today Maria Shriver filed for divorce with the one and only Arnold after about a month ago he came clean about his bastard child with the housekeeper.
I didn’t see that one coming.
And of course, they’re getting divorced because of ‘irreconcilable differences’ (as opposed to ‘He is a cheating piece of shit.’) Wait, this is a duh statement, right? Doesn’t every single married couple get divorced for exactly that? This of course got me wondering, what the fuck are irreconcilable differences exactly?
Well folks, after doing a bunch of research, it seems to be that they are a way to pussy out and get divorced even if you don’t (or do, apparently) fall under one of the typical ten reasons which include things such as impotence, 2 years or more of drug abuse, adultery, being a drunk asshole, and of course infecting the other with an STD. Irreconcilable differences is the closest you can get to a ‘no fault’ divorce without actually saying the truth.
So… more or less, you don’t need a good reason to split? You just need some underlying issue that is just too impractical to mend. And if you have a good reason to split, you don’t need to use it. It seems silly to me. You took the time to plan the wedding and commit your lives to one another. You should have to take the time to come up with a goddamn good reason. Period. (I want details.) Irreconcilable differences just doesn’t cut it, because if you’re getting divorced, obviously you have some problems that you can’t correct. Duh. How is this a court conclusion?
Leave the vagueness for when you first meet your future ex while you’re dodging their ‘wanna-know-all’ questions and just come out and say it Shriver:
You’re divorcing the govenator because he’s a cheating mother fucker and you can’t believe he slept with that nasty fat bitch!
America will have no objection.