I’ve never seen The Jersey Shore, a fact that I remain steadfastly proud of, but one that most of my girlfriends find offensive. When asked why I don’t watch it, I simply respond with the truth; I don’t have the time to waste, much in the same way I don’t have the time to waste watching half the things on TV. There of course, is another blatantly good reason… I think it promotes the level of stupidity that is increasingly on the rise in our society. You know, the kind of stupidity that influences people to think reading is boring and getting drunk is actually ‘getting awesome.’
As well as The Jersey Shore, I also don’t enjoy a certain clothing company called Abercrombie & Fitch. Sure, it’s cute, preppy, all the cool kids are wearing it (like The Situation on The Jersey Shore), but paying $40 dollars for a t-shirt? Yeah, not so much.
However, recently Abercrombie & Fitch has been donating their money to a good cause; A good cause that I may just have to help promote by purchasing an over priced t-shirt: They are willing to pay The Situation (whose elusive real name is Mike Sorrentino) and the rest of the cast of the shore to not wear their clothing brand. Duh.
Abercrombie has not been a model of moral decisions itself, what with the marketing of pre-teen thongs with captions such as ‘wink, wink’ and ‘eye candy’ on the ass back in 2002 and padded bikini tops for 8 year-olds just recently last year. You know, nothing says ‘abduct my 9 year-old child’ like a padded push up top for non-existent boobs, thongs to show off a lack of curves, and shows like Dance Moms and Toddlers and Tiaras, all of which in my cynic opinion seem to promote utter craziness, bad self-image and pedophilia. Hey, don’t get me wrong, once when I was 7, I stuffed my dance leotard with socks to see what I would look like with some boobies, but for a company to market that curiosity and the progressive need to be sexy… for children? That’s asinine. (Come on now, leave that to Miley Cyrus guys.)
However, when I learned of them paying off The Situation so that he wouldn’t wear their clothes, I was relieved. (It could be mainly because I think he’s got a killer six-pack, but whatever.)
“We are deeply concerned that Mr. Sorrentino’s association with our brand could cause significant damage to our image,” the company said of their decision when the whole ordeal was first breaking into mainstream news programs like CNN and Fox.
Well, duh. He’s a significant damage to our American society as a whole, to be honest, much like the rest of the cast. (For a really good explanation of what I mean… read this critique from The New Yorker.) In a society that’s already gone off of its rocker (in my opinion, of course): Diets that consist of processed and chemical saturated instant meals creating an obesity problem worth noting, entertainment that has mainly drifted from true comedy and clever witticisms into watching people with no actual drive, morals, or applaudable aim in life, a political system that is driven by consumerism and arguing, and news programs that lack analysis and foster just as much drama and entertainment as the reality TV shows; We have created a society of fat people who sit around and indulge in TV dinners and other people’s bad personalities on TV all while wearing the $40 t-shirt they just bought. (Oh, and the leggings that say ‘Juicy’ over their big, fat asses.)
Now, I don’t judge people that watch shows like The Jersey Shore. I have a number of highly intelligent friends whose guilty pleasure is watching a short, overweight chick called ‘Snooki,’ run around hammered. No one is immune from this… I also have guilty pleasures, such as Britney Spears dance parties, The Sims 3 video game, and chocolate, peanut butter explosion cake. We are entitled to our own forms of ‘dumb’ entertainment, even if they are not considered highly respectable. The problem I have with all of this is that our society collectively seems to literally promote it’s own dumbing down. Commercials littered with useless products they tell us we need (see previous blog), news programs that showcase “headline news” stories on Justin Bieber getting a haircut, our food pyramid being guided by frauds such as the USDA and weight loss pills being pushed as a safe solution to getting skinny, photoshopped pictures in every magazine of what is unnaturally “beautiful,” and black out drunkenness being a socially acceptable “awesome time.”
These are the voices of the masses, and seldom heard are the voices of reason.
So, when I learned that Abercrombie was literally paying the cast of The Jersey Shore to ditch their clothes to better their image, I thought maybe, just maybe, someone’s catching on. (Although, I highly doubt A&F’s real intentions are that noble.) Regardless, kudos to you Abercrombie & Fitch! Just stick to promoting your product on anorexic people!
More or less folks, this rant is not to convince you to stop watching reality TV or to not occasionally go out and have a black out time getting awesome.
Nope, this rant is to inform you that when all else fails, you can just pay someone to save your image. Cheers!