Survival of the Fittest: Lesbians.

A few years back, I had been watching a program about different battles of sexes found in nature -in a top ten, females dominated all but one- but there was one in particular that piqued my interest: the Whiptail Lizard, which beat out all other species in the battle between sexes, because there is only one sex: female. Duh.

In some of the¬†Cnemidophorus species of the Whiptail Lizard, male lizards have been completely erased from their reproduction process. Using¬†parthenogenesis, the lizards pretty much clone themselves, creating an army of identical, little ladies, without ever being fertilized by a male. (Don’t believe me? Read some more…)

The most awesome part you ask? They have to mimic sexual intercourse. This is to say, that two female Whiptail Lizards role play, one on top and one on bottom, and they pretty much dry hump until the lizard playing female on bottom ovulates and lays her eggs. In a showing of equality, the next time the two lesbian lizards get together, they switch roles, the one who played male plays female and vice versa.

Of course, this raised what to me is a vital question to ask; what does this mean for human males? Will they eventually be unnecessary? Well gentlemen, I’m (kind of) sad to report that you may very well meet the same demise as your Whiptail Lizard male counterpart of sorts. Apparently both the X chromosome and the Y chromosome (exclusive to male species) both started with over 1,000 genes apiece. However today, the Y chromosome has less than 80 genes, while the X chromosome is standing strong at hundreds. It has been calculated that the Y chromosome loses about 4.6 genes every million years, and that in 10 million years… it may lose it’s function altogether. What does that mean? That means that according to some geneticists the Y chromosome, and males in general, will eventually evolve into extinction!¬†(More on that useless Y chromosome…)

After acting as a chromosome gumshoe on your behalf, I have come to a single conclusion…


Although presently men are needed for the production of sperm, taking out the trash, and buying us flowers, eventually their true necessity will be made known, which (as many a female has predicted) is absolutely none.

Men will slowly die out and Earth will be crawling with lesbians. So ladies, let’s make a toast in honor of our superiority…

And men? Maybe you should think twice the next time you cheer on the two drunk chicks making out at the bar… they’re slowly evolving to defeat you.

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4 Responses to Survival of the Fittest: Lesbians.

  1. Jessica Champney says:

    Im pretty sure that this is the most genius thing I’ve ever read in my whole 27 years of living. Can’t we just stick a few men in a closet somewhere until we need one to say, lift a heavy couch or something?? I’m not a lesbian but, I have a feeling that this world may end up being a better place without the stupid version(because there is of course that silly exception of about 1%) of men ruining everything all the time! I could leave more on this subject but, I may just end up coming off a little more bitter than I should in my young age. All I’m saying is…when I need the trash taken out, I dont ask anymore, I just do it. You know why? Because I know when I do it…it will get DONE. I dont see why it shouldn’t be the same way with reproduction…. “Hey dumby, I’d like a family sometime today! Oh forget it….I’l do it myself….UGH” hahahaha :)

  2. Cau says:

    absolutely awesome I love lesbians

  3. Jasmine says:

    The lizard fact is very interesting, no doubt, but I’m pretty sure the absence of the opposite sex doesn’t inherently change a person’s sexuality….like sure maybe some people would start getting with people of the same sex but it wouldn’t mean they stopped preferring doing it with the opposite sex. Some people wouldn’t even try.

    • Becki says:

      The absence of men would indeed change our sexuality, because we would become asexual and not heterosexual, as we would reproduce by creating clones of ourselves rather than getting it on with a dude. So although, I used the term “lesbian” as a joke, it would not technically be correct, but neither would heterosexual.

      The most interesting fact to me is the one you seem to miss. If the Whiptail didn’t mimic having sex with another lady lizard then they didn’t produce a clone. In other words, they had to go through the motions of a completely useless sex act in order to allow their bodies to be tricked into producing offspring. So if for some reason a lady refused to have gay sex because she was sitting around dreaming about penis, she would be pretty awful for survival and evolution doesn’t take kindly to things bad at survival.

      Though, this whole situation is completely hypothetical, and most of what I write is to poke fun at the world, so to take my tongue and cheek literally is difficult, and I commend you for trying.

      Thanks so much for stopping by, Jasmine.

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