In what may be the boldest move of my campaign for world domination yet… I deactivated my Facebook account. Yep. I made the decision and stuck by it. A sense of liberation washed over me after I searched for twenty minutes in account settings on how to do it, eventually had to google how to do it, was informed by Facebook as I was doing it that Chris, Alex, Ali, Alexandra, and Sarah would miss me (for real), had to change the captchas 76 times before I could understand the captcha enough to actually copy it and get it right (while Chris, Alex, Ali, Alexandra, and Sarah’s profile pictures stared me down- pleading with me not to go), and finally, after a grueling half hour, I was gone from the Facebook world. How long exactly will I be gone? Well, that’s to be decided, but at least until the election for the president of the United States is over.
As you may or may not have previously read, I’ve been struggling with this whole Facebook thing anyway, and last night it dawned on me, that there was no way I was going to make it through this election in one piece if I continued to read people’s political status updates. It just wasn’t possible.
Last night, when I got home from work, I turned on the Republican National Convention and geared up for Mitt Romney’s big speech, which was overall unimpressive in my opinion. It was a safe, easy route that explained to me in no way how he planned to fix everything that he said was going to fix. He said he has a plan, but he didn’t really tell me much about it, except the end goal, which is to fix everything (except the environment).
Key points I pulled from Mitt’s speech?
1) Mitt has a family, and he likes his family.
2.) Mitt has a wife and mother, so he likes women.
3.) Mitt’s dad was totally romantic.
4.) Mitt goes to church, and yes, he is Mormon, but he still goes to church, and God bless ‘merica.
5.) Mitt is an American, and he really, really likes the United States of America and thinks all other countries are, well, not the United states of America. So they should just shut up.
6.) Mitt likes small businesses, like… Staples.
7.) Who needs an environment? I mean, really.
Now, I am well aware that I went into his speech biased. I knew as I cozied up to view it, I was probably making a mistake in that it would keep me up all night unable to sleep, tossing and turning. As he talked about his five rascally youngsters, and his deep love as a parent, glancing ever-so-slightly up to the sky with a tear in his eye, I could not help but think oh man, this is going to piss me off, and it did, but that’s really beside the point. I have no doubt when I tune into the Democratic National Convention next week, I’ll have moments of utter disgust as well. Probably not as many, but they will definitely happen. Why? Because the focus isn’t on politics really at all. Not with celebrity guest speakers, montage videos of the candidate’s hardships and great compassion and other loose stories, and a band that provides a soundtrack of such hits as “Living in America” by James Brown for the clowns to enter and leave the stage with. But, honestly, I have no idea from what Romney and his fellow republicans said in the past couple of days what any of his proposed policies mean for me. I know what he wants to do and I know what he’s insinuating he will do, but I’m not really sure how he’s going to do it. How is that helpful? How does that win my vote?
I’m not going to analyze the whole speech for you- there are plenty of other sites that do- but I will admit two low points for me were his attempt to appeal to women by using his mother and stepford wife Ann (he’s not for women’s rights-he wants to overturn Roe V. Wade), and his pretty much blatant acknowledgement of not thinking the environment is an issue by actually insulting the attempt to “heal the planet.” The whole convention actually laughed at protecting the planet. You know hardy har har. In my very own paraphrasing and some other words, Romney went on to say this: “Obama said he was going to save the planet?! HA! What a fool. Who needs a planet? Who needs Mother Earth when you’ve already got a real mom?! What we need are more family dinners, hugs, and jobs.” You see, Republican or Democrat or whatever, no matter how much you preach about the future of jobs, and education, and family, and our country, and marriage, and abortion, and immigrants, and the American dream, and all that, it’s kind of null and void without a planet… no? I mean, that would make the future just a bit bleaker. (I guess without a planet we’d erase our national debt. Touche.)
But, it wasn’t until I made the mistake of logging into Facebook that my blood really began to boil. I had to fight myself to try and not update my own status, and in the end I failed. I couldn’t help it. That’s when I knew; Facebook’s gotta go for the duration of this election.
I really do love talking about politics with people, whether or whether not they share my views, but I find on social networking platforms- mainly Facebook- that it tends to veer away from a discussion and turn into a big misunderstanding of people shouting at one another. You pick your side and then you defend it, not with facts, but with people “liking” your comments. It’s frustrating.
So, I deleted my Facebook page. Maybe out of frustration or maybe out of protest. Maybe for a few months or maybe forever. Who knows?
All I know, is that anyone that actually wants to talk to me about this- or anything really-can get ahold of me via a phone call, text, megaphone, email, tweet, stopping by my house, stopping by where I work, or smoke signals.
And on a brighter side (!), check out how Honey Boo Boo and the rest of her overweight, redneck family had better ratings than the RNC last night right here! God bless ‘merica!