Hi! And welcome to the Super Hot Babe Club where we share with you a bunch of super hot babes and you jerk off while your wife is at her once-a-week Zumba class and your kids are watching Frozen for the 458th time today.

This month, we spotlight the saucy minx 12 year-old Becki Trudell.

When not totally consumed by softcore fan fiction about the Hanson brothers or trying to discover her sexuality by cybering strangers in AOL public chat rooms, 12 year-old Becki likes to read about whales, play baseball with her family, or get to the next level in Donkey Kong on the Super Nintendo.

We sat down with 12 year-old Becki for an exclusive interview to try and find out how, as totally unattractive old dudes, we could pretend we had a chance with her.

Short, Obligatory Q & A of Vapid Questions to Pretend She has an Opinion:

I see that you love to (insert hobby here). Tell us about it!

You see that I love to what? You didn’t … you didn’t finish the sentence.

That’s okay. Moving on! What do you look for in a man? 

I’m twelve.

Becki, you’re not getting any younger. Your body clock is ticking. Tick tock! You need to start planning your wedding. How do you feel about your wedding day diet plan?

(Pause) Uh, I eat Lucky Charms every morning, but unlike most of my friends that eat all the marshmallows first, I eat all of the cereal pieces first because I like to have just marshmallows in the end.

Well, okay, you’re a fatty. Back to talking about men. What is your type? 

I don’t have a type. Maybe the nice type? I don’t know. I guess I want a guy who cares about me and thinks I’m funny and …

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who thinks YOU’RE funny? You mean who IS funny. Girls are never as funny. This isn’t a trick question, Becki. 

I’m really bad at this.

Will you put this bikini on for the last question? 

I don’t have any boobs yet. (Pause) But this kid named Judson says I have medium boobs. It’s weird.

Don’t worry! This bathing suit top adds TWO CUP SIZES. But don’t wear it to your school, because your school will suspend you faster for wearing spaghetti straps than for smoking cigarettes! No one likes a whore, except for everyone. 

In the end, we got 12 year-old Becki to shut up and snapped some hot centerfold pics! What a super hot babe!

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