Category Archives: an aimless ranter

Top 5 things I Want to Say about the VMA’s

As is the case every year, I didn’t watch the MTV Video Music Awards- partially because I’m a self-righteous warrior riding a high horse of anti-everything mainstream, but also because I can’t afford cable.  No, instead, this year in grand … Continue reading

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Passion Aggressive (Chapter 2, April 2013)

(I wrote a book once. It was the worst book ever written. Regardless, I wrote the book anyway. Titled Passion Aggressive, it’s essentially my life, but broken down into chapters. The only thing the book doesn’t have is an actual point. Or an … Continue reading

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Passion Aggressive (Chapter 1, April 2013)

(I wrote a book once. It was the worst book ever written. Regardless, I wrote the book anyway. Titled Passion Aggressive, it’s essentially my life, but broken down into chapters. The only thing the book doesn’t have is an actual point. Or an … Continue reading

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Chasin’ That Zack Morris High (and Other Vagina Victories): Benson

(Chasin’ that Zack Morris High is a recurring series that details my experiences dating and having one-night stands with (mostly younger) dudes. Teeter tottering between equal parts genius and whore, either way totally not giving a fuck- these blogs are an … Continue reading

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Stay Away From My Uterus

On the cusp of my 30th lap around the sun, I’m at the age where everyone I know is getting married and having kids. Whether 5 years younger, my age, or 5 years older -it doesn’t matter- this is what people are … Continue reading

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Your Server Hates You (And other Restaurant Truths)

There are few industries that can destroy a person’s faith in humanity as quickly as the restaurant industry, and there is no doubt that the servers have the most harrowing of all jobs within. Mainly it comes down to the … Continue reading

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You Can’t Turn a Douche Bag into a Husband

Most of my mornings that are not consumed by work or my boyfriend begin by me drinking coffee and reading the news and other gems on the internet. I peruse around a bit, get a basic view of what’s going … Continue reading

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The Answer is Yes (or Dear Future Boyfriend,)

Some of you may be aware and some of you may not be aware, but my new hobby is going on dates. I go on dates every week. I’m currently averaging 2-3 in a seven day span of time, and … Continue reading

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More Dry Humping, Please

Who doesn’t love a good dry hump from time to time? I mean, essentially it’s abstinence yet still humping. That’s magic.

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Fraternizing with the Tourist Boy (And How You Can Too!)

Are you 35 and still checking single on your taxes? Do you walk into your local bar, look around, and think meh, I’ve already made-out with every single dude in here? Maybe you’re just really, really bored…? Well, if you’re a server, I … Continue reading

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Talking, Shitting, Facebooking, Introducing (and other Woes)

I recently became single again a little while back and it occurred to me that because of my decision, I’m forced to undertake the daunting task of starting all over from scratch with some unsuspecting dude. Square one. Aside from … Continue reading

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What Christmas Means to Me

If you clicked on this expecting your typical “family and friends and egg nog and good feelings inside and woven sweaters with black bears humping on them and sipping hot chocolate by the roaring fire place while Tiny Tim giggles … Continue reading

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They don’t sell hugs at the mall.

I hate malls. I can’t stand them. I didn’t even know this about myself until a few weekends ago. I thought I loved them. Mainly because I love shoes, but still… I didn’t always feel this way. I’m like many … Continue reading

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PSA: Stop reading into shit, but do read into this one.

Some of the things I have been writing about have been called into question recently. And apparently, people are investigating my blog and then reporting things to others as facts. A sort of third party, ‘he said, she said, Becki … Continue reading

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Grossly Negligent Operation of a Smart Phone

Cell phones are nifty little gadgets that we as first-world citizens cannot really live without anymore. I am certainly guilty of this. Probably even more so than others. And guess what? I have what is referred to as a “smart” … Continue reading

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